Goulash

As bright as the sun might be, in all its glorious splendour, there hangs a dark cloud today.
Unfortunately I am no stranger to funerals. I have attended four of my family members and each time was more painful than before. I am not the strong type who is able to keep it together. I fall apart like flour from an unclenched fist, scattering into a million particles that I am never able to completely piece together again. My husband on the other hand, has never attended a funeral as he has only his parents and sister in this country. He never understood why the pain is still so raw for me whenever he mentions my deceased loved ones, or why I cry whenever I see a funeral scene in a movie. It's hard to understand if you have never been around that kind of powerful, soul wrenching grief.

Today he will be attending the funeral of an old school friend. What pulls at my heart is that I will not be able to stand with him, clenching his hand, supporting him - I have to be here for work, as it is still only the two of us. It doesn't feel right, and I'm not sure how he will be upon experiencing this sad moment. My thoughts will be with him, and with those who lost their dear friend and daughter, and I shall be here, arms open wide, when he returns safely home to me.

It's jarring to realise that we are all human, and therefore only shortly on this Earth. No matter how hard I try there times where I fall prey to daily life and partake in trivial arguments, not appreciating the greater value in the person with whom I am arguing. Although this week, with its dark cloud, has been a little silent, we found ourselves being more affectionate and slow to anger, taking the time to appreciate each other and those we love whom are still with us.

The author of this recipe had it handed down from her father, which I thought made it all the more precious.

ease: 5/5.
prep time: 2mins.
cooking time: 25mins.
total: 27mins.

taste: 4/5. Overall Ryan enjoyed this dish although he found the meat a bit chewy (I used beef shin). He said that the sour cream is absolutely necessary for super enjoyment. It has a tiny kick which is offset by the cream and fresh herbs with a mellow tomato base. I made the following adaptations:

• I quartered the recipe (used a little less stock though and upped the meat to 200g)
• I cooked the onions for 5mins
• I browned the beef in the same pan as the onions for 2mins
• Once everything was added I cooked it for a total 20mins rather than 1 & 1/2 as stated

would I make it again: Yes - this is the second time I have made it. The first time I halved the recipe and it worked out a little better.

recipe: Goulash